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This Is My LifeThis is not my life.
This heavy thing that trails behind me
Like a broken sail in the middle of the god damn ocean,
But this is not my sinking ship.
This life is not my life.
This storm is fueled by hurt and tears, it washes on deck,
It will not wreck me, it will not sink the unsinkable;
Because this is not my ship wreck.
This is not my voice on the wind,
It's just the wind howling, it's not my scream. Not today.
My throat is just sore from the salty tang of the air,
Surely my eyes are wet from ocean spray.
My feet will never slip over board.
I have perfect fucking balance, I will never fall.
This is not the wind rushing past my ears as I am flung from my chair,
It's just the roar of my own courage as I stand tall.
This is not my life.
This water that surrounds me now is just your embrace,
These bubbles that escape from my lips are just daydreams of your kiss.
I'm not fucking drowning, that's not the case.
This is not the darkness,
It's only the absence of light. Nothing is wron
Afraid To Die AloneAll the memories you left behind come rushing back
Like the bite of liquor I swallowed in your bedroom;
Just something to take the edge off suicide,
Something to dull the blade and numb the pain.
Filled with false security of intoxication,
We walked 'round the corner, down the road;
More like stumbled in drunken stupor,
More like crawled in the sludge of heavy minds.
The pain of living lone forgotten in the taste of rum and wine.
The clerk at the Holiday Station never batted an eye.
I'm sure he'd seen much worse than this,
Worse than a death defying girl and broken accordion boy.
On the way back we drunken crawled in our heavy mind stupor,
Back up the hill right past the cops.
We knew there was no way we were getting caught.
Not this time, not again; we knew.
We were invisible to the law, transparent canvas,
Glass cracking at the edges, that's how we made it back.
Breaking down, reassembling, breaking all over again;
Falling, laughing, but never walking in a straight line.
And back in
Love LetterThe pain that I spill from my wrist
Is the ink on a letter I promised to never rewrite.
I sent a letter like that long ago,
but it came back all tight lips and clenched fists.
Now I'm bruised from the inside;
Knocked out from the pain of looking within.
I need to control this hurt and paint it on my skin.
Tonight I want to write that letter all over again.
I want to address it to you and hope it never returns,
hope it hurts when you read it; I hope it burns going down.
I want to bleed the black ink until I'm bled out.
I want to sign it at the bottom with "Love, Yours truly, forever."
I'll seal it with a faint kiss,
Just like I kiss your lips,
but this time I'll whisper goodbye.
Lead In My BloodI'm sinking like a stone in your sea.
My blood is filling with lead like water in this sail boat body.
My mind is drowning while the red sunset shines on; just like nothing's wrong.
My dreams are seasick; leaning over the railing, watching the water below.
It churns like my worried stomach,
A ballet to anxious music, but it's more than stage fright tonight, love;
When they watch me cut myself wide open,
Just to spill the truth to you, because lead bullets never lie.
There's truth in every gun.
The silver bullet sea-birds are fading into the bruises; running from the punches,
But their wings are tangled in kite strings, and I'm holding tight.
I just want to let go of these things tonight.
I can't or I'll fall beneath the surface,
But what harm would it do to let go, just for once in my life.
These are quiet thoughts that nobody knows.
They sneak up and slowly crack the evening sky;
They make the world seem wrong,
But you don't realize right away, not until it's gone;
Not until the sky i
Stupid Love Poem.The thump-thump-thumping in my chest
Is the metronome to tap-tap-tapping of my finger
On your broad shoulder.
"What?" You ask as you turn to see me,
Suddenly my courage grows boulder.
"I love you."
I say it with bravery, I'm unashamed.
"I love you too." you say as
A smile takes the place above your chin, but beneath your nose.
I smile back and grip your hand.
I hope this feeling never goes.
You read my mind and hold me close.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More