Half asleep and dead on my feetI'm so tired, but rest is the last thing on my mind.
Every time my head hits the pillow it's like a slap in the face.
Every time I inhale deeply my ribs break.
Every time I close my eyes tear trails appear which cannot be erased.
They lead somewhere, but only to dead ends.
Every time I reach the end of the rope I've been chasing I want to wrap it around my neck.
Every time I feel the cliff's edge under my toes I want to jump.
Every time the train nears it's destination the tracks cease and the train of thought wrecks.
I'm trying to stay on track,
But every time I see a blank page I want to write a poem and tear it in half.
Every time I see a way out I box myself in.
Every time I see a flag flying high it's still half staff.
Dreaming is something I could never do.
Every time I break through I break down and cry.
Every time I try I can't get past that breaking point.
Every time I awake I can't breath. One of these nights I'll stop all together and die.
Sometimes I wish it would happen.
On The RoofThe treeline is filled with jagged teeth and the mouth of this clearing devours the sky.
I sit on the this roof to watch the clouds,
But they never stop and still as they pass by.
Some move this way and others run away,
But none of them know how to stay.
The farther that they run the brighter they look.
Maybe I should run away too.
I'm sure I would if I could fly,
But the closest I can come to flying is falling
And it's just not the same.
Maybe if I jump I could hit the ground running,
Or at least just hit the ground.
Coming BackThe grass is longer, up to my knees now.
The apple trees are taller now, fruit stained red.
How long have I been gone? Look how much has changed now.
Rotting shingles on the roof are all but dissolved now.
The shed in the backyard with ragged palms still stands, reaching for the sky now.
The castle on the hill seemed so grand, but I'm so much older now.
Golden doors under golden arches are swinging off the hinges now.
Lawn chair thrones have broken legs, shining windows are dark inside, but so am I now.
The world looks all wrong now.
How long have I been gone?